How to Teach Your Child to Say Thank You for Holiday Presents

Written on December 7, 2010 by in Activities - Practical Life - Grace and Courtesy, Montessori Techniques, Preschool Parenting
56 Comments - Leave a comment!

LittleGirlAcceptingPresent_3929270_s_123The best time to teach your preschooler to say thank you for presents received over the holidays is beforehand. In Montessori education, grace and courtesy is an important part of the practical life lessons. And the aim is to give children demonstrations and practice with proper etiquette before an etiquette technique will be needed.

Here are some ideas to help your child learn how to say thank you for presents:

Demonstrate How to Receive a Present with the Proper Words and Actions

  • You could introduce a lesson on receiving a present by saying, “I’d like to show you what to do when you receive a present.” Demonstrate the actions along with the appropriate words.
  • Say something like, “I don’t ask someone for a present. I never ask, ‘Where’s my present?’”
  • Have your child give you a present you prepared for the demonstration. Demonstrate the proper words and behavior. “When I’m given a present, I look the person in the eye [or whatever is appropriate for your culture], smile, and say, ‘Thank you.’”
  • Open the present. Then say, “After I open the present, I again say, ‘Thank you.’ If the present is something I already have, I don’t say, ‘I already have one.’
  • “I try to say something nice about the present.” Give an example of something nice you could say.
  • If you want your child to hug or kiss a relative or friend, you should demonstrate that as well.
  • “I put away the gift wrap from the present.”
  • Finally, say, “Later, I write a thank-you note to the person who gave me the present.”

Give Your Child Opportunities to Practice

Repetition is essential for young children to learn social graces. You should give your child as many opportunities to practice as possible before your child is actually given a present. Be creative.

  • You could have a gift bag or box with a lid that can be used over and over. You could put different toys, clothes, or books your child already owns in the gift bag or box and role play giving the gift to your child. The object will be a surprise, and your child will have to think of something nice to say about it.
  • You could have gifts of small presents for your child to practice saying thank you throughout the holiday season. Some parents have small daily gifts throughout December, especially to focus on teaching their child to say thank you.
  • You could role play with a pretend present.
  • If you have more than one child, they could take turns giving and receiving real or pretend presents.
  • After your child is given plenty of role-playing opportunities, you could have discussions about “What should I do when I receive a present?”

Be Specific in Your Praise when Your Child Remembers the Proper Etiquette Technique

  • “I was so happy to see the way you smiled at Grandma, hugged her, and told her, ‘Thank you.’”
  • “I appreciate that you remembered to say what you liked about Grandma’s gift.”
  • “You cleaned up every scrap of wrapping paper!”

Don’t Criticize or Embarrass Your Child in Public if He or She Forgets the Etiquette Technique

  • Remember that young children need lots of practice.
  • Repeat the lesson again later.
  • Give more opportunities for practice.

Have you had any positive experiences teaching your child etiquette techniques?

Please join us in our manners discussions in the comments below and/or at the Living Montessori Now Blog Frog Community!

Linked to AfterSchool Linky Party, Living Life Intentionally Linky Party, Pinterest Tuesday, The Mommy Club Resources and Solutions at Milk and Cuddles and Crystal & Co. , Thrifty Thursday, Preschool Corner, Show-and-Share Saturday, Link & Learn, and The Sunday Showcase at Mom to 2 Posh Lil Divas and Classified: Mom.

Related posts:

  1. How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
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  3. How to Teach Concepts and Vocabulary to Your Preschooler Using the Three-Period Lesson
  4. How to Help Your Child through Natural Learning
  5. Can Montessori Principles Be Used to Teach P.E.?
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56 Responses to How to Teach Your Child to Say Thank You for Holiday Presents
  1. Penny
    December 7, 2010 | 4:07 am

    This is great! I never thought about practicing beforehand. My children are very polite – we miss it on occasions though. I think we’re going to have an etiquette lesson very soon!

    What a great post Deb!
    Penny recently posted..Candy CansMy Profile

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  2. Larri
    December 7, 2010 | 5:15 am

    Great tips! I was determined to teach my children about gift-giving etiquette long before they arrived in this world. We began practicing at about age 2 1/2. I will never forget the first Christmas with new-to-me nieces and nephews, who ripped through wrappings and tossed aside gifts, barely glancing at the contents. When the frenzy subsided, one of them shouted, “Is this it?” Yikes! ;o)

    Reply
  3. Laura
    December 7, 2010 | 5:31 am

    It’s so true that we need to teach our kids beforehand how to show proper etiquette. With Georgia, we have her practice with us even now. She knows that she always says Thank You when she receives something, gift or other. We also model it in our home. Jeremy and I always try to be polite to each other, and she sees that and wants to copy.
    Laura recently posted..Georgias Birthday CelebrationMy Profile

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  4. Alison
    December 7, 2010 | 7:17 am

    Great post! Thank you for taking the time to remind us all of the importance of teaching grace and courtesy. And it is never more important than during the holiday season.

    Thank you again.
    Alison

    Reply
  5. Sherry
    December 7, 2010 | 7:24 am

    Great post and something that is needed to be taught today! So many are ungrateful or about “where is my present?”. :(
    Sherry recently posted..Showing Christs Love at CHRISTmas through BakingMy Profile

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  6. Kyle Sadler
    December 7, 2010 | 8:55 am

    Thank you for sharing this! This information is perfect for teaching children about receiving presents and such. I love how you gave the examples. This will be so helpful!

    Kyle Sadler
    http://www.montessoriforlearning.com

    Reply
  7. Counting Coconuts
    December 7, 2010 | 12:40 pm

    I could say “ditto” to Larri’s comment! Nothing frustrates me more than an ungrateful person, be they young or old. I’ve been writing Thank You notes on behalf of James since he received his very first gift. Now that he’s older, he partakes in the process by drawing or painting a picture on a piece of card stock, which we fold in half to create a card. Once he’s able to write, he’ll take over the entire process.

    This is a great post and I appreciate you giving examples on how to verbalize things. I often say too much, but I know short and to the point is the way to go. Thanks for sharing this, Deb!
    Counting Coconuts recently posted..On Our Shelves – DecemberMy Profile

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  8. Jessie
    December 7, 2010 | 12:52 pm

    What a great explanation of this grace and courtesy lesson! We do this at birthday time, too :) Practicing that you are thankful for EVERY gift takes time, start early!

    Thanks, Deb!

    Reply
  9. Carolyn Hadsell
    December 7, 2010 | 2:15 pm

    Showing gratitude is a teachable skill.
    I have taught my students to greet their parents at pick up time with this phrase-”Hi,Mom! How was your day?” This gets them thinking about others and not themselves. Parents are relieved to hear this and not, “Mom! Did you bring me anything?”
    Carolyn Hadsell recently posted..Children Make Clay Angels and Trees for Christmas!My Profile

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  10. SomeGirl
    December 7, 2010 | 6:31 pm

    GREAT tips! Last year we practiced all that you mentioned over and over again before a family party… I was so proud of my son and how he graciously and thankfully received duplicate gifts and gifts that seemed too young for him! But I was taken back by a cousin/mom who complained about our gifting a duplicate gift to her son… it provided good discussion/educational material for our ride home. ;) A new gift was requested and I considered sending a book of manners. :) Wouldn’t you know we drew their name again for this year’s gift exchange. Hopefully this year will be better. If not, I’m sending her your article! lol

    Reply
  11. Kelly
    December 7, 2010 | 8:06 pm

    Great tips and reminder! I need to start role playing with my kiddos now.
    Kelly recently posted..Who is coming to Our House- Advent Day 7My Profile

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  12. Theodora Bredie
    December 8, 2010 | 1:02 am

    Very nice idea Deb, thank you:)

    Reply
  13. Dorie
    December 8, 2010 | 4:55 am

    A great reminder and tips to practice!
    Thank you for sharing them.

    Reply
  14. Michelle
    December 8, 2010 | 5:59 am

    Wonderful post. I’ll be going through this lesson with my two. They do okay but usually need reminding.
    Michelle recently posted..Waiting for WinterMy Profile

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  15. Karen
    December 8, 2010 | 6:16 am

    Thank you for posting this…these are good life long lessons. I also try to teach my girls to look people in the eye when they say thank-you.

    Happy Holiday and Thank-you!
    Karen
    Karen recently posted..Fun Christmas GamesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Deb Chitwood
      December 8, 2010 | 5:46 pm

      Thanks, Karen! Your comment gave me an idea for revising my post! Before, it said, “When I’m given a present, I look at the person, smile, and say, ‘Thank you.’” I was trying to accommodate more cultures by not saying to look the person in the eye (since it’s not a good thing in some cultures), but then I realized it’s not really clear enough for Americans (the majority of my readers). I think I can accommodate hopefully all my readers by saying, “When I’m given a present, I look the person in the eye [or whatever is appropriate for your culture], smile, and say, ‘Thank you.’” Happy holiday to you, too!
      Deb Chitwood recently posted..Activity of the Week – Turning Christmas Crafts into Montessori-Oriented ActivitiesMy Profile

      Reply
  16. Janette Jackson
    December 8, 2010 | 2:15 pm

    Those are some lovely suggestions about teaching your children about etiquette and using manners after receiving a gift. Children can also learn by example so it is important for a child to see the action being done.

    Reply
  17. Jennifer
    December 8, 2010 | 7:55 pm

    I think this is a very important lesson that many parents let slide now a days. At my last job as a waitress for 7 years (glamorous I know!) it was a very RARE treat to get a thank you or a simple “yes Mam”. More parents need to read this and teach their kids simple manners. It’s our duty as parents.
    Jennifer recently posted..Wednesday Blog Hop!My Profile

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    • Deb Chitwood
      December 8, 2010 | 9:28 pm

      Thanks, Jennifer! I agree that it’s our duty as parents to teach our kids manners. So true that too many do let it slide – but I’m grateful for the many great parents out there who still are teaching manners! I’m hoping their influence will begin to rub off on the rest!
      Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Child to Say Thank You for Holiday PresentsMy Profile

      Reply
  18. Kelly
    December 8, 2010 | 8:05 pm

    I just wanted to let you know we did a fun activity inspired by this post and I blogged about it tonight. Thanks again for posting this information!

    http://littlewondersdays.blogspot.com/2010/12/reindeer-games-advent-day-8.html
    Kelly recently posted..Reindeer Games- Advent Day 8My Profile

    Reply
  19. Ro
    December 10, 2010 | 6:44 am

    Awesome Post! I find this is what Im panicking about for the future.. will baby E have good manners. I keep emphasizing it.. so I hope it sticks!!

    Following from the Blog Frog!!
    Ro
    http://randomroro.blogspot.com

    Reply
  20. Colleen - Sunrise Learning Lab
    December 12, 2010 | 6:40 pm

    Did a post that relates to this about grace and courtesy and how that relates to Kris Kringles. Will add a link to your blog post, as it ties in nicely with what I shared about Kris Kringles.
    http://sunriselearninglab.blogspot.com/2010/12/wonderful-grace-courtesy-lessons-for.html
    Great post, Deb.
    :) Colleen
    Colleen – Sunrise Learning Lab recently posted..Delicious Discounts- Fabulous Freebies- &amp Glorious Giveaways for the Holidays!My Profile

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  21. Dana
    December 13, 2010 | 12:34 pm

    I like the idea of practicing to say thank you, you sort of reinforce the urge to express gratitude by making your child repeat the whole process multiple times. Just telling them not to forget is not enough because they get all excited and all the words slip their memory. However if they physically “rehearsed” receive-gift-say-thank-you procedure it will resurface during the actual act.
    http://www.gerberlife.com/gl/view/guide_products/esp/index.jsp

    Reply
    • Deb Chitwood
      December 13, 2010 | 3:29 pm

      Thanks for your comment, Dana! My children were figure skaters and were used to practicing their programs over and over and over again throughout each competitive season. Then they didn’t have to worry when it was time to compete because they could just count on their muscle memory to remember their program regardless of how big the event or audience was.

      I really think the repetition in manners instruction does the same thing – gives a way for good manners to be at the top of a child’s mind even during a situation that is new or stressful.
      Deb Chitwood recently posted..Activity of the Week – December Poetry Basket and Montessori-Inspired Christmas ActivitiesMy Profile

      Reply
  22. Hilra
    December 14, 2010 | 5:11 am

    Hello, Deb. Thank you so much for this post. I am glad it is still on time for me. My kids are quite good at saying thank you, but I still think they could do better, like adding something about the present. I was considering preparing the thank you cards with them this year. I still will do, but you gave me the idea of preparing them beforehand. We can do the decorations and leave the message for after Christmas, so we can add something special about the present itself. Every time I come here, I learn a new thing. God bless you!

    Reply
    • Deb Chitwood
      December 14, 2010 | 12:26 pm

      Thanks so much for your kind comment, Hilra! I like your idea of preparing thank you notes beforehand but leaving the decorations and message for after Christmas. God bless you, too!
      Deb Chitwood recently posted..Homeschool ChristmasMy Profile

      Reply
  23. Hilra
    December 14, 2010 | 5:14 am

    I will have a look around to see if I find a post on “eye contact”, but if not, I will be back to ask you some advice ;-)
    Hilra recently posted..Essays from my first yearMy Profile

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  24. Kristy
    December 1, 2011 | 4:31 pm

    From the number of comments, it seems that people agree with you that this is important – and I do, too! My son and I had fun the other day practicing receiving gifts. I had him pretend to open a gift from me and said, “It’s spinach!!” to test his courtesy when getting a gift he didn’t exactly want. He passed the test, grinning. But this is a comprehensive list that I will have to use as a model next time we do it. I hadn’t thought to tack on putting the wrapping paper away and reminding him that he writes a thank you note later. This will round out our role play!

    Reply
  25. Little Wonders' Days
    December 11, 2011 | 10:40 am

    You know I loved this post last year and I love it every bit as much this year! Thanks for the wonderful reminder and for linking up to AfterSchool.
    Little Wonders’ Days recently posted..AfterSchool Linky Party!My Profile

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  26. Julie from Just Playin Around
    December 12, 2011 | 10:47 am

    This is such great advice! Thanks for joining in the Afterschool Blog Hop!
    Julie recently posted..Afterschool Blog HopMy Profile

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  27. Natalie
    December 14, 2011 | 3:23 pm

    Great ideas, I especially liked the suggestion of practicing through pretend play. Visiting from Afterschool!
    Natalie recently posted..Week In Review–December 11, 2011My Profile

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    • Deb
      December 14, 2011 | 4:27 pm

      Thanks so much, Natalie! It’s nice that kids can have fun while learning good manners! Have a great holiday season! :)

      Reply
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