If you homeschool or are considering homeschooling, I’m sure you understand the concept of homeschooling fears. We all have them … those questions about whether or not we’re adequate for the task, whether or not our children will suffer in some way by being homeschooled.
I homeschooled both my children through high school. They’re 23 and 28 now, so I’ve gotten the answers to my homeschooling questions.
Interview with My Now-Adult Children
This was one of my biggest homeschooling questions: Will my children regret being homeschooled?
I could tell that my children were happy they were homeschooled, and they had told me before that they liked being homeschooled. But I decided to interview them for this post to get an exact answer to my question: “Did you ever regret being homeschooled?” Following are their answers.
Will, 28, said he liked homeschooling and didn’t regret being homeschooled. He said:
“Homeschooling made me a more independent thinker. Homeschooling was also more interesting. I studied a better variety of topics.
“Because I was involved in skating, I still had a social presence. I do think homeschoolers need to be involved in some sort of social activity for their kids.”
Christina, 23, also said she liked homeschooling and didn’t regret being homeschooled. She said:
“I really liked that I was able to graduate two years early. That meant that I was able to graduate from college at age 19, which is extremely rare.
“I loved the freedom of being able to do my schoolwork at different times of the day so that I could keep up my busy schedule of ballet, skating, workouts, and karate.
“Being homeschooled also meant that I didn’t have to spend lots of extra time on homework and inessentials. Instead, I was able to focus and spend more time on what was important for me to learn.
“I enjoyed being taught by my mom. She’s an excellent teacher, and it was always nice to be around her more.
“Homeschooling also helped me be more independent as I grew older and was able to take more responsibility for my studies.”
Homeschool Resources
If you’d like to know more about our homeschooling experience (and more about my inadequacies as a homeschooler), here are some posts you might enjoy:
- How to Be a Relaxed Homeschooler
- The Overwhelmed Mom’s Guide to Montessori Homeschooling
- Top 5 Homeschool Lessons My Children Taught Me
For a list of many of my homeschooling posts and resources, check out my Homeschooling Resources post.
Following My Children’s Interests to Adulthood
Because I used Montessori principles in homeschooling, following my children’s interests was a major focus of our homeschool. If you’d like to see some examples of how my children followed their interests, here’s a video of Will and his pair partner, Aaryn Smith, performing their “Phantom of the Opera” long program at their first Junior Grand Prix in 2004.:
Here’s a video of Christina and her ice-dance partner, Mark Hanretty, performing their Scottish Folkdance OD at the 2010 World Figure Skating Championships in Turin, Italy:
Here’s a video of Christina and Mark performing a show program to Michael Jackson’s “Earth Song”: “
In addition to being successful skating coaches, Christina and Will have followed their interests in other areas. Will’s B.A. is in Communications with his minor in Music Industry Studies. He uses both his communication skills and music knowledge in his successful DJ business, Dancing DJ Productions. He loves his work!
Christina’s B.A. from Sheffield Hallam University in England is in Performance and Professional Practice. Christina always enjoyed writing and is a book author. Also, Christina continues to use her dance and fitness training in videos and on her blog.
So, I learned that I didn’t have to be perfect. Everything turned out fine … better than fine! Based on my experience, my number-one advice to homeschooling parents is simple … realize you don’t need to be perfect.
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This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about parenting fears.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- When Parents’ Fears Escalate — If we didn’t self-doubt, we probably wouldn’t care enough about our children to struggle with understanding them. But how do we overcome self-doubt? Read advice from Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., guest posting today at Natural Parents Network.
- What ifs of addiction — After seeing how addictions of adult children is badly hurting a family close to her heart, Hannah at HannahandHorn shares her fears for her own child.
- Sharing My Joy — Kellie at Our Mindful Life shares her fear that others think she is judgmental because she makes alternative choices for her own family.
- Building My Tribe Fearlessly — A meteorite hit Jaye Anne at Tribal Mama’s family when she was seven years old. Read the story, how she feels about that now, and how she is building her tribe fearlessly.
- Fear: Realized — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen shares how her fear of car accidents was realized and how she hopes to be able to use her efforts to overcome the remaining fears to help her children overcome their own.
- I’m a Negligent Helicopter Parent — For Issa Waters at LoveLiveGrow, the line between helicopter parenting and negligent parenting is not so cut and dried.
- My Greatest Fear For My Child — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits that she has struggled with not allowing her fears to control her and how the reality of this was blown wide open when she became a mother.
- Proactive Steps to Calm Parenting Fears — Every parent has certain fears related to dangerous situations, That Mama Gretchen shares ways she is preparing herself and her children for emergencies.
- Homeschooling Fears – Will My Children Regret Being Homeschooled? — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares an interview with her now-adult children that answers a question she had throughout their homeschooling.
- An Uneasy Truce — Homeschooler and recent convert to unschooling, Tam at tinsenpup shares just a few of the things she tries to keep in mind when fear and insecurity begin to take hold.
- Fearing the worst, expecting the best — Tarana at Sand In My Toes writes about fears that come with parenting, and why we must overcome them.
- Can I be the parent I want to be? — Amanda at Postilius confronts her struggle to peacefully parent a preschooler
- Out of Mind, Out of Fear — How does Jorje of Momma Jorje deal with her pretty steep, long-term fears regarding her son’s future?
- I Don’t Homeschool to Manage My Kids’ Transcripts — One of Dionna at Code Name: Mama’s fears of parenting is that she will get so caught up in the monotony, the details of homeschooling, the minutiae of everyday life, the routine of taking care of a household – that she will forget to actually be present in the moment with her children.
- Beware! Single Mom Camping — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her first adventures as a single mom. She laughed, she cried, she faced her fears.
- Parenting Fears And Reality Checks — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares her three biggest fears as a parent – that most parents share – looks at the reality behind these fears, and offers a few suggestions for enjoying parenting.
- Parenting fear : to kill a pink rabbit… — Mother Goutte tells us the story of a pink rabbit that disappeared, came back, and became the symbol of her worst parenting fear…
- Roaming — sustainablemum considers whether allowing your children freedom to explore the world safely is harder now than in the past.
- Meeting my parenting fears head-on — Lauren at Hobo Mama had many fears before she became a parent. Learn how they all came true — and weren’t anywhere near as scary as she’d thought.
- Don’t fear the tears — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger worried that letting her children cry when going to sleep was tantamount to the dreaded parenting moniker, CIO. She discusses what actually happened after those teary nights, and how she hopes these lessons can carry forward to future parenting opportunities.
- Will I Still be a Good Mom? — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot worries about her mothering skills now that breastfeeding is no longer the top priority.
- Pregnancy Fears: It Happened to My Sisters, It Will Happen to Me… — Kristen at Country Fit Family discusses the difficulties with pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding that the women in her family have had and how she overcame them.
- Fears — Meegs at A New Day talks about how her fears before parenting led to a better understanding of herself and her desires for her daughter.
Learn more about Montessori at Home or School: How to Teach Grace and Courtesy!
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May be linked to Afterschool Express, Thoughtful Spot, Tuesday Tots, The Mommy Club Resources and Solutions at Milk and Cuddles and Crystal & Co., Mom’s Library, Craft & Activity Share, The Weekly Kid’s Co-op, Homeschool Link-up, Hearts for Home Blog Hop, Learn & Link, TGIF Linky Party, Preschool Corner, Ultimate Homeschool Pinterest Party, Sharing Saturday, Saturday Show & Tell, Share It Saturday, Show-and-Share Saturday, The Sunday Showcase, Link & Learn.
Heidi says
I am not sure you can homeschool without asking yourself this question! Thank you for sharing your adult children’s perspectives with us. Even though I know that just because someone else had children who found success doesn’t guarantee that mine will, it sure does help to know it is possible. Success is in the eye of the beholder and I my biggest hope is that my children will find what makes them happy.
Deb says
I agree, Heidi! I think every homeschooler must ask that at one time or another (or a lot). I was really glad we followed our kids’ interests throughout their homeschooling. When they were used to following their interests, they naturally directed themselves into careers that made them happy. 🙂
Jennifer says
Love how you said that! “They naturally directed themselves into careers that made them happy”. This is so important. How many of us have tried to get this job or that job because we felt like this or that was expected of us? Then how many of us ended up hating our jobs? Enjoy life and enjoy what you do. Great post! 🙂
Rebekah says
I was homeschooled all the way through highschool and I never regretted it. There were days I thought I did but overall I always thought sorry for my public schooled friends. I could be done with a whole school days worth of work in 3-4 hours while they had to sit in school. Being homeschooled gave me the opportunity to graduate early, attend several intensive music courses, start my own business as a private piano teacher and allowed me to work full time as a bank teller. I’m planning on homeschooling my children. I’m super excited about starting preschool with my toddler next fall. 🙂
Deb says
Thanks, Rebekah! I love hearing from someone who was homeschooled through high school. How exciting that you’ll be starting on a new homeschool journey with your own children. 🙂
Issa Waters says
Thank you for sharing the perspective of your adult homeschooled kids. I’m planning to unschool with my son. He’s only 2 right now, but I’m already working on confronting some of the same kinds of fears.
Deb says
Thanks for your comment, Issa! I hope you have as much fun homeschooling your son as I did homeschooling my kids. 🙂
Jennifer Saleem says
Awesome post because I am in the throes of asking myself this same question. I feel a lot better now! Seriously. At least I know my worries about it all are normal.
Deb says
Thanks for your sweet comment, Jennifer! Yes, your worries are definitely normal. I loved that the more I just let myself relax into our homeschooling rhythm the better it was for all of us. 🙂
Lauren says
Yes, that really is one of my homeschooling fears! So glad you were able to interview your children about this and get the real scoop. Right now my 6-year-old is so pro-homeschool it’s not a problem, but I know I occasionally have those fears about “missing out” on the school experience — even though it wasn’t any great shakes, ha ha! I can’t wait to delve into all your videos!
Deb says
Thanks, Lauren! Isn’t it funny that we worry about our kids “missing out” on something we weren’t that fond of from our own childhood?! 🙂
Shannen says
Hopping over from the Hip Homeschool Hop! While I still beat myself up from time to time, this message, “you don’t have to be perfect” is the mantra I try to tell new homeschooling parents. The fear of not being perfect steers so many away from homeschooling, without many realizing the schools aren’t perfect either! We’re toughest on ourselves. Great post!
Deb says
Thanks for your kind comment, Shannen! I always remember the homeschooling seminar where we were told that the only people who finish the textbook are homeschoolers. That’s so true … I was never really taught about World War II in elementary school because we never made it that far in the book. 😉
Dionna says
I had this moment of panic earlier this year when I realized that we’ve officially done it – we are officially homeschooling. My thought was, “Kieran is MISSING his kindergarten year! Are we doing the right thing?! Will he be upset that he’s missed that experience??” And then I calmed down, because I *know* that what we’re doing is working for him. We *tried* a one day/week supplemental program to give him that “kindergarten experience,” and he hated it so much that he didn’t last a month. But he enjoys the other “school” things we do. So the moment of angst has passed. I’m sure it won’t be the last one, but it’s reassuring to read your kids’ experiences!
(p.s. we just watched the Earth Song video – awesome!!!)
Jennifer N says
Thank you for this encouraging post! We are rounding out my oldest son’s 10th grade year and high school has made me nervous. Stopped by from Hip Homeschool Mom hop.
Samantha says
Super awesome! I think as long as homeschool moms don’t really “shelter” their kids, (specifically their preteen and teen kids) they’ll be OK. (Some home schooled kids we know were “sheltered” and they rebelled…they’re OK now, but it was tough)
Super awesome Phantom of the Opera Video!!!!!
Wendy says
I’m so glad you linked this post up with us on the Hip Homeschool Hop! I know so many homeschooling moms who feel like they have to send their teens to public school. They think that homeschooling for high school isn’t good enough. I think homeschooling for high school is very important and is definitely a wonderful option! I have one homeschool graduate and will have another in May of 2015, so it’s great to hear from other homeschool graduates who, looking back, are glad they were homeschooled. 🙂
Gretchen says
I’m a first generation homeschooling mama from a family of teachers so I definitely feel nervous and have fears about how things will go. Especially since my children will visit schools on occasion and see what they’re “missing out on”. It’s very encouraging to see/hear all your children have done! I’m mostly excited for our homeschooling adventures and can’t wait to see all the doors/interests it will open for my littles.
Sara says
Wow! I enjoyed watching your children skate together. One of homeschooling’s biggest benefits for teens, in my opinion, is having time to devote to their interests and talents. It’s been a joy watching my teens develop their individual interests. Thank you for sharing the long-tem results for your family.
Irving says
Deb
What a great post especially seeing how you were a Montessori teacher! You have a better understanding than many other parents and administrators. But great point here. Also with the way so many public schools are changing, Homeschooling may be the most viable and wholesome option. Thanks a lot for your post
Catherine M says
Being homeschooled through highschool myself I can say now as an adult (27) I could not have wished for a better education. We (all 6 siblings) all had a fantastic head start and began junior college at age 12. While some of us did not persue further college we have all been successful and capable adults. Now as a married woman looking forward to starting my own family I have absolutely no question in my mind as to whether or not to homeschool my children, I have even gone as far as starting my own business for homeschool consulting. My mother and father did the right thing.
Madz says
Hi Deb,
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I’m seriously considering to homeschool my 2 year old as she starts preschool in a few months. I was in tears by the time I was viewing the last video you posted.
Jess says
It’s just an amazing article!
Melissa says
Great article! It’s normal for parents to ask themselves those questions. Homeschooling is good as you will be able to know the children’s talents and nurture them when young. They will also be more creative as most of the things will be done practically. You get to know your babies better. You also teach them only what will be important to them unlike in school they learn all things even those that will never apply in their lives. I will homeschool my babies when that time comes!