If I Have to Tell You One More Time… Book Review and Giveaway

The giveaway is now closed, but please read the book review to learn about an awesome parenting book!

I’m thrilled to be hosting a giveaway of Amy McCready’s new paperback book: If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling! There will even be 3 lucky winners from the U.S. or Canada!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links (at no cost to you).

If you (like any parent) are looking for effective strategies for helping your child’s behavior, this is a must-have book. You can find If I Have to Tell You One ore Time…The Revollutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling at Amazon or Book Depository.

Amy McCready from Positive Parenting Solutions

If you’ve been following Living Montessori Now, you know that I recommend Amy McCready’s positive parenting techniques. Amy describes herself as a “recovering yeller.” She is a frequent guest on the TODAY Show and has appeared on shows and in publications such as Rachael Ray, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, and The New York Times.

Amy has an online parenting & discipline training course with strategies that fit well with gentle discipline, logical consequences, and Montessori principles. Amy started her program as a parent educator in Montessori schools and taught her program to thousands of Montessori parents. She teaches parenting strategies for toddlers to teenagers.

About the Book If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling

320 pages Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin

I attended and thoroughly enjoyed Amy’s Positive Parenting Solutions webinar in June. Amy writes as clearly as she speaks. With 320 pages in her book, she’s able to cover a lot of parenting techniques and give clear and detailed examples of how to deal with a number of discipline problems. This is a good book to read straight through, and it’s also an important book to have as a reference for specific problems.

In addition to an index, there’s a table near the end listing specific behavior problems, what to do in the moment (with page references), and preventive measures for each problem (again with page references). This is especially helpful for problems needing immediate attention that can occur in any family. You’ll definitely want to have the book in your home library for this reference section alone.

Amy’s book is based on Adlerian psychology and the concept that children seek belonging and significance. The book teaches respectful discipline methods, which are perfect with Montessori principles. Rather than demanding obedience, Amy’s methods acknowledge the child’s needs and dignity.

There are lots of specific techniques that lead to positive behavior, such as giving choices and applying logical consequences. And the suggestions are compatible with the Montessori emphasis on encouragement rather than excessive praise. Amy’s techniques don’t create “praise junkies.”

The book uses a series of action steps called Toolbox Solutions, or Tools. You’ll start with Tool #1 and gradually add on tools that build on the previous ones.

Here’s an excerpt of one of the tools from If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling:

Toolbox Solution #6: Decide What You Will Do

The Tool Explained

As parents, we’re now well aware—both in theory and in practice—that we can’t control our children’s actions. But we can control our own. This tool gives you the power to decide what action you will take in response to your kids’ misbehaviors so that your kids learn from their mistakes, and you don’t get stuck solving problems that aren’t yours.

There are two things at stake in this tool. The first is your child’s misbehavior. For example, you can’t force your children to make sure all of their dirty clothes are in their hampers when you’re ready to launder them. But what you can do is decide how you will handle the laundry situation in your house. For example, inform the family that laundry day is Tuesday, and you will only wash clothes that are in laundry hampers. Any clothes that aren’t in the hamper will have to wait until the next laundry day—or they can be washed by their owner. You can bet that the first time Daniel is forced to wear a jersey that’s neither clean nor pleasant-smelling for practice, he’ll make a special effort to remember his laundry next Tuesday.

The second thing at stake is your own sanity. In the laundry example, for instance, Mom saves herself the trouble of nagging and reminding her kids to use their hampers throughout the week, tracking down dirty clothes on laundry day and then running an extra minuscule load or two as kids find the jeans they have to wear to school the next day or the uniform that needs to be sparkling clean for marching band—but spent the night in the car instead of the hamper.

Beyond household tasks, this tool can address quite a few of those annoying negative behaviors that tend to come up. For instance, if your child constantly whines, you can simply choose not to listen. Or if your toddler is experimenting with screeching, you can leave the room (and take away any attention your toddler was receiving from you).

When to Use It

·   To reduce repeated misbehaviors

·   When you constantly find yourself nagging about the same thing

·   When you end up doing things for your kids they should be doing for themselves

Why It Works

The most explosive power struggles happen when we’re trying to control someone else. This tool works because it’s based on the premise that you can’t control someone else, so you instead need to control your reaction. Once you determine what you’re willing to do, it ends the battle for power: You’re no longer trying to force your child do something he doesn’t want to do, and you’re making the situation work for you no matter what your child does.

The “Decide What You Will Do” tool puts responsibility squarely on your kids’ shoulders, whether you’re trying to encourage a positive action or discourage a negative one. And if your child is unwilling to take on the responsibility, he loses out on a privilege. For instance, you can decide that as long as lunchboxes are empty, clean and on their appropriate shelf in the pantry, you will fill them every morning. However, if lunchboxes are not in their places, or contain yesterday’s leftovers, lunch will not be packed in them and the owners will be responsible for packing their own lunches. Your child will quickly learn that the privilege of having lunch packed for him comes with the responsibility of making sure his lunchbox is ready to go.

This tool also commands respect—your kids learn that you’re not a doormat, nor are you a personal maid or short-order cook. It sets fair and reasonable boundaries that everyone can live with, and is empowering for everyone involved. It works great for Pleasers and Comforters (remember your personality priority?) because it gives these types a way to avoid taking on responsibility that should belong to their children. And it helps Controllers and Superiors keep from nagging endlessly until a task is completed.

Tips for Success

·   Be clear when you’re informing your child what you will (or will not) do in a specific situation. Make sure she understands so that she can take on the responsibility, or learn from it if she chooses not to.

·   Have the “what you will do” discussion at a calm time, and not in the heat of the moment. If you speak it in anger, you’ll only create a power struggle.

·   Be consistent. Your kids will test you several times before they’re convinced you’re serious.

·   Follow through. This tool won’t work unless you do what you say you’ll do. Hold firm, or you’ll lose ground.

(Excerpt used with permission from Amy McCready.)

Free eBook with a Purchase of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…

If you don’t want to wait until the end of the giveaway, you can purchase If I Have to Tell You One More Time… right away on Amazon. When you buy a paperback copy of the book, Positive Parenting Solutions will send you a FREE E-Book: This Year Will Be Different – Back to School Survival Guide. Sign up to get your Free E-Book. Whoever wins one of the 3 paperback books will receive the free e-book as well!

You’ll find many positive reviews of Amazon, too!

Disclosure: I received a copy of If I Have to Tell You One More Time in order to provide an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and any opinions expressed are my own.

Now for the Giveaway:

What You Will Win: 3 lucky winners from the U.S. or Canada will win a paperback copy of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling!

Who is Eligible:

This giveaway is open to anyone 18 and older in the U.S. and Canada. Positive Parenting Solutions will pay for shipping. The first entry is mandatory. You must leave a blog post comment telling why you want to win If I Have to Tell You One More Time… (and be sure to click the green “ENTER” on the Rafflecopter form to let me know you left your blog post comment and to open up the optional entries)! After you’ve completed your mandatory entry, there are lots of optional entries. You have many chances to win! (Note: For the extra entries, you may count ways of following that you already do. For example, if you previously “liked” Living Montessori Now on Facebook, you may still count that for your “like” Living Montessori Now on Facebook entry!)

It’s easy to enter giveaways with Rafflecopter! Just follow the directions to enter.If you still have questions about the Rafflecopter form, here’s a 52-second video with quick directions for entering through Rafflecopter.

You must complete the Mandatory Entry to qualify for any additional entries. The giveaway closes 10:01pm MST on Thursday, September 27. Best of luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

UPDATE:

It’s Friday morning, September 28. I really appreciated the 1100 entries!

Three lucky winners have been selected using Random.org through Rafflecopter!

The winners of If I Have to Tell You One More Time… are Kimberly, Sandra M., and Casey R.! (Note: Kimberly, Sandra, and Casey, you each have 48 hours to respond to my email, or a new winner will be chosen.)

Kimberly, Sandra, and Casey all had multiple entries … I’m so happy you each won an awesome book with lots of great parenting strategies!

The comment for Kimberly’s mandatory entry (why she wanted to win) said:

“My son has been so whiney lately. I think a lot of it has to do with starting school but it is on my nerves. We are all taxed and we tend to snap. I’d love to learn ways how to deal with this.”

The comment for Sandra’s mandatory entry (why she wanted to win) said:

“Oh, I so need this book! I am starting to loose my patience lately since I have to repeat EVERYTHING at least three times. Seems like this book would help me a big time! Thanks for the chance!”

The comment for Casey’s mandatory entry (why she wanted to win) said:

“I find myself saying this all the time. “If I have to tell you one more time…” I could definitely use some input for better solutions!”

CONGRATULATIONS, Kimberly, Sandra, and Casey!!! Thank you SO MUCH to Positive Parenting Solutions for sponsoring this wonderful giveaway – and thank you to everyone who entered!

And, always, thanks so much to all my blog sponsors!

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