Maria Montessori believed young children have a deep sense of dignity and want to do the right thing. You can use Montessori techniques to teach your child how to do the right thing. Here are some Montessori principles you can use at home to teach manners.
1. Emphasize practical life activities to help your child develop order, concentration, control, and independence. This will give your child the grace of movement and inner discipline needed to master etiquette skills.
2. Teach a specific manners lesson by demonstrating the proper behavior, breaking down the lesson into distinct steps. If you want your child to say, “It’s nice to meet you,” when meeting an adult, for example, you should demonstrate exactly how to do that.
3. Give your child opportunities to practice the manners lesson. You could use role playing, where you pretend to introduce your child to a friend of yours at the grocery store.
4. When your child greets an adult with the proper etiquette technique, be very specific in your praise. You could say, “I was so happy to see the polite way you greeted Mrs. Johnson.” But you can often reinforce the behavior best simply by describing what your child did: “You said, ‘It’s nice to meet you,’ just like I showed you.”
5. Avoid criticizing your child or embarrassing your child in public if he or she doesn’t have the maturity or necessary repetition to perform the etiquette technique properly.
6. If you see that your child has difficulty performing an etiquette technique consistently and needs more practice, review the lesson at a later time. You could demonstrate the lesson again, adding a new detail such as shaking hands. Or you could have a discussion about “the best thing to say when meeting an adult.” You could also use another pretend situation for more role play about what to say when meeting an adult.
Have you used a similar technique with your preschooler? How did it work?
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I'm Deb Chitwood. My header photo models are my children, Christina, at 1 1/2, my son, Will, at 3, and Christina again at 16. Christina is now 20, and Will is 25. Please see the 













Oh Deb – I'm so guilty – Avoid criticizing your child – about manners. After a messy dinner years ago I asked, "are you an animal – do you want to be treated like a pig – that was just disgusting". I said this to my son!!!!!! He didn't know – he was just eating!
thanks for the tips – they are awesome!!
Stef
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Thanks so much for your comment, Stef! And no parent is perfect! I can tell you’re a great mom from your blog. I also know that our children pick up our unconditional love and aren’t unduly affected by every little incident in life.
Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
thanks for sharing those techniques!

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Thanks for visiting and commenting, Joy!
Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
Deb, I always enjoy your insight! Yes, yes! Instruction, practice, praise, repeat! Well shared!
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Susan! And I love the way you put ideas so succinctly . . . “Instruction, practice, praise, repeat!”
Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
Found you via a meme at Toddlerawesome.
Like the tips, but I think the most effective is just to be polite yourself. All. The. Time.
Also, give young preschoolers prompts "Hello, Mr. ___! Charlie, say Hello to Mr. ___" from a very young age (well before they can talk) so that children get used to speaking to adults early on. Even if they can't repeat, I think it's very benficial.
Twitter: DebChitwood
Thanks so much for your comment, Cara! I definitely agree that setting an example is the most effective form of teaching manners.
Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
This makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks so much for your kind words! I appreciate it!
Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
Great tips and something that can help many. Having a 5 year old this comes in handy. I try not to criticize my daughter, because after all she is only 5, but at the age when she is learning so much and good manners are very important! And thank you for visiting my blog, I really appreciate it!
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Thanks so much for visiting and for your nice comment! Sounds like you have a great attitude toward teaching your daughter manners!
Deb Chitwood recently posted..How to Teach Your Preschooler Manners Using Montessori Principles
This post has been selected as one of my great posts of the week. Here is the link to my post.</
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Thanks so much for the honor—I really appreciate it! And I love what you’re doing with your site!
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Great post!
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Thank you for your kind words, Kami! I appreciate your comment!
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[...] to say thank you for presents received over the holidays is beforehand. In Montessori education, grace and courtesy is an important part of the practical life lessons. And the aim is to give children demonstrations [...]
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