I think my family was lucky. We didn’t have to make the difficult decisions about kids and technology that families have to make today. Our oldest son, Will, was born in 1985, and we didn’t even own a computer when he was a preschooler. Christina, born in 1990, had very little use of computer as a preschooler. And we avoided the Internet and cell phones altogether until our kids were much older.
Christina at age 4 dancing to a video playing on our video monitor.
We did have to make decisions about television use. We decided to have no television in our house when our kids were preschoolers. We had a video monitor that allowed us to watch some movies together along with occasional educational videos for our kids. And our kids didn’t miss television. They were simply used to active learning activities and finding ways to entertain themselves. We were Montessori homeschoolers, so we had plenty of hands-on learning materials and open-ended toys available.
Helpful Ideas about Kids and Technology from Around the Blogosphere
Will designing a cartoon card with recorded message for his dad on our first computer, 1992.
Huffington Post has a series of articles about kids and technology.
The Wall Street Journal has an eye-opening post by Ben Worthen called “What Happens When Toddlers Zone Out on the iPad?”
Parents has many helpful tips in its article by Margery D. Rosen titled “Is Technology Good for Little Kids?”
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Television and other entertainment media should be avoided for infants and children under age 2. A child’s brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens.” The American Academy of Pediatrics has recommendations for older children as well.
Will Corbin at The Father Life covers a number of topics regarding Montessori and technology in “Would Maria Montessori Have Approved? Technology for Montessori Teachers.”
Hanna Rosin has a fascinating post in The Atlantic about “The Touch Screen Generation.” She discusses a Montessori approach to technology and talks about the technology limits developers of children’s apps place on their own children. (You’ll be surprised!)
In addition to tons of hands-on activities, John Bowman has extensive reviews of Montessori-friendly apps in his Montessori at Home eBook. You’ll find some excerpts and sample pages in my latest Montessori at Home post.
I have a post at Living Montessori Now called “Montessori-Inspired Screen-Free Activities.”
I have a post at Bits of Positivity called “The Golden Rule for Back to School” with resources to prevent cyberbullying. The post includes a link to a free eBook about Growing Up Online.
James Fallows has a thought-provoking – and disturbing – post at The Atlantic called “The Art of Staying Focused in a Distracting World.” It emphasizes the importance we play as role models for children. It says: “Kids learn empathy in part through eye contact and gaze. If kids are learning empathy through eye contact, and our eye contact is with devices, they will miss out on empathy.”
In my post at Bits of Positivity called “Are You Really Present for Your Family and Friends?” you’ll find an embedded video that dramatically shows the need for caution with devices.
My Other Posts About Parenting and Technology
- Less Screen Time/More Family- and Outdoor Time
- Don’t Let Your Smartphone or Tablet Steal Your Precious Family Time
- How to Stop Phubbing Your Family
- Instagram Family … What’s Wrong with This Picture?
- What Parents Need to Know about Smartphone Safety
- Are You and Your Child Suffering from Nature-Deficit Disorder?
- How Do Your Family Technology Rules Compare with Those of Steve Jobs and Other Top Tech People?
- Fight the New Drug: What Parents Need to Know
What Would I Do if I Had Young Children Today?
- If my children were young today, I wouldn’t want them to miss out on the joys of a childhood rich in time outdoors and hands-on practical life and sensory experiences. I’d want them to learn primarily through work with concrete learning materials.
- I’d try to follow the no-screen-time-for-children-under-2 rule.
- The one area in which I’d deviate relates to families who are separated by distance. I think Skype is one of the best technological inventions, and I’d recommend it even for babies who have loved ones in another part of the country or world. (See “Creating Memories Together on Skype.”) I love that grandparents can talk with – or even read to – their grandkids regardless of where they live.
- I’d still like to have as little television as possible. When kids aren’t used to watching television, they just don’t miss it.
- For preschoolers, I’d probably follow the rule that I’ve heard many preschool parents use of no more than 30 minutes per day of computer time. I’d increase the allowed time online as my kids grew older.
- Most of all, I’d try to remember that my kids are much more important than any device. I would want to be a good role model of what’s truly important in life.
What are your rules regarding technology and your children?
Photo Credit: Photo at the top of post by choreograph.
This post was written for the Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their families’ policies on screen time.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants
- Has Technology Taken Away Childhood? — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama worries that technology is intruding on the basic premise of childhood – active play in all forms! Join her as she takes a brief look at how play has changed as technology becomes more integrated into the daily lives of our children.
- Fostering a Healthy Relationship with Technology — Jenn at Adventures Down Under describes her children’s love of screen time and how her family implements their philosophy and policies on technology.
- Kids Chores for Tech Privileges — Crunchy Con Mommy shares how tying chore completion to iPad privileges worked in her house to limit screen time and inspire voluntary room cleaning!
- Screens — Without the benefit of her own experience, sustainablemum explains her family’s use of technology in their home.
- Screen Time – The Battle of Ideologies — Laura from Laura’s Blog explains why she is a mom who prioritizes outdoor natural play for her kids but also lets them have ample screen time.
- The Day My iPhone Died — Revolution Momma at Raising a Revolution questions the role technology plays in her life when she is devastated after losing her phone’s picture collection from her daughter’s first year.
- Finding our Technological Balance — Meegs at A New Day talks about how she finds balance between wanting her daughter to enjoy all the amazing technology available to her, without it overwhelming the natural parenting she’s striving for.
- Raising kids who love TV — Lauren at Hobo Mama sometimes fears what children who love screentime will grow up to be … until she realizes they’ll be just like her.
- No Limits on Screen Time? Is that Natural? — Susan at Together Walking shares misconceptions and benefits of having no limits on technology and screen time in their home.
- Screen Time — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares what is currently working (and what hasn’t) regarding screen time in her household.
- Positive Use of Technology with Kids — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells about her family’s experiences with early technology, shares helpful resources from around the blogosphere, and speculates on what she’d do as a parent with young children today.
- why i will never quit you, TV — How Emma of Your Fonder Heart came to terms with the fact that screen time is happening, and what balance looks like between real and virtual life for both her toddler AND herself.
- Technology Speaks — Janet at Our Little Acorn finds many uses for technology – including giving her child a voice.
- What parents can learn about technology from teachers — Douglas Blane at Friendly Encounters discusses how technology in schools enhances children’s learning, and where to find out more.
- 5 Tips for a Peaceful Home — Megan of the Boho Mama and author at Natural Parents Network shares her favorite 5 tips for creating a peaceful home environment.
- Technology and Natural Learning — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling writes about the importance of technology as a tool for natural, self-directed learning.
- Kids and Technology — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis talks about the benefits of using technology with her preschooler, and includes a few of their favorite resources.
- Using Technology to Your Advantage: Helping Children Find Balance — At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy discusses how technology can be used or abused and gives a few tips to help children learn balance.
Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy!
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Deb, such a thought provoking post. A topic I have spent a lot of time thinking about and debating myself. My wee ones are easy enough, but my 11 year old and I are carefully treading into new water with children and technology. Thank you for all of the great resources – they will be a great support for decisions to come.
Thanks, Sarah! I hope you find the resources useful for your family. 🙂
We probably watch more than we should on the computer, but we do try to balance it with play and learning.
I think you do a great job! I’m always impressed with the creative hands-on activities you and JDaniel do together. 🙂
What a great post! I also posted about positive pointd of screen time couple of months ago. And p.s. I love code name: mama!
Thanks, Varya! I agree that Code Name: Mama is awesome. 🙂
Thanks for the links! For Kieran, we’ve settled on no more than 30 minutes/day of screen time (TV or computer). It’s a compromise that we reached with him, and we’re all generally happy with it (I do love the days when we have *no* screen time though!) We try to keep Ailia away from screens since she is not yet two, but it is harder to regulate with second kids! She’s not very interested, even when she is present while the TV is on.
Thanks for your comment, Dionna! It sounds like you found a nice balance. I totally agree about it being more difficult to regulate things with second kids. I especially noticed that with available food choices. 😉
Fascinating links. I know that when we make a conscious effort to get everyone away from the electronics, we have better days overall, but as always, finding the right balance is sometimes a challenge.
Thanks, Janet! It’s so true that finding the right balance is a challenge … I’m still working on that for myself. 😉
I agree that “screen time” is not the most accurate umbrella term. Skype vs. television vs. video games vs. looking at photos on a phone? They’re not created equal!
Thanks for your comment, Emma! Technology is definitely a mixed bag, isn’t it?! 😉
We’re definitely more lax about TV watching, but that’s because Sam & I enjoy it so much, too. 🙂 But we definitely try to balance that out, avoiding TV under age 2, and having plenty of screen-free time for the bulk of the day.
I totally agree with Skyping with grandparents, though. That’s been so special, for both sides. Having our parents see our baby grow from a newborn, even through a screen, is such a precious thing!
Technology is such a complex topic, isn’t it?! I think every family has to discover what works best for them. It seems like your family has found a balance between technology and real-life activities.
I’m so looking forward to using Skype with my soon-to-be-born granddaughter! 🙂
Nice post, thank you.
For me two sentences in it go to the heart of the issue. One is yours that “my kids are much more important than any device. I would want to be a good role model of what’s truly important in life.”
The other is your James Fallows quote: “Kids learn empathy in part through eye contact and gaze.”
Young children learn about the complex human world they’ve come into primarily through interacting with parents. If screen time is an addition to that interaction time, it’s a bonus. If it is a replacement for it, it’s a loss.
Thanks, Douglas! Technology is definitely a complex issue with no simple answers.
Great post- thank you so much for sharing it! I think that technology can be SO beneficial when it is used in moderation, and I definitely think that it’s important that children have an adept understanding of it. It’s just important that we use it properly with them.
Thanks, Amy! It really is about finding the right balance, isn’t it?! 🙂
I have a 3-year-old and we minimize screen time as much as possible. For the most part, we don’t have the TV on when our son is awake, and he is still scared by most movies. He watches a few videos a month, but we try to make choices that are at least slightly educational — he likes cooking how-to videos and has actually asked to practice some of the techniques he’s seen. 🙂 My husband and I don’t have smartphones but we do have tablets, although we don’t have apps for our son on them. I truly feel that young children don’t need to be taught how to use technology. When the time comes, children learn quickly enough, so I don’t think having a toddler or preschooler adept at using an iPad should be a parental badge of honor. My husband shared this with me over the summer and it relates: http://www.npr.org/2013/06/21/179015266/how-much-can-children-teach-themselves
Thanks for your comment, Margaret! It sounds like you’ve found a good balance for your family. I agree that kids can learn how to use technology without a lot of help from adults. 🙂
This is a great post. We followed similar principles when daughter was in preschool and limit her screen time now when she is in elementary. I have my own post on that – http://learningwithmouse.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-digital-trap-or-digital-gift.html. Thanks for sharing your resources with Afterschool!
Thanks, Natalie! I love your post, too. Thanks for sharing it here. 🙂
the whole screen time issue is one we are wrestling with at the moment so your post was very timely. I tend to separate zoning out in front of TV and actually interacting with games – especially educational ones. I don’t think they have the same issues, plus my son won’t spend as much time with an interactive game as he would in front of the TV if i didn’t intervene. Thanks for linking to the Sunday Parenting Party, I’m pinnning to our pinterest board
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment! It really is tricky to find the perfect balance, isn’t it?! Thanks for pinning my post. 🙂
Great post, Deb!! It has been a struggle for us recently having switched from the Waldorf School to a more traditional one that does not have the no media rule. We are still working on it though. Thank you for sharing at Sharing Saturday!! And congratulations on being tied for most clicked!
We don’t have a television, but we do have an iPad. I choose very carefully the apps I let my daughter play with and all have a Montessori approach. She has iPad time every morning while I have my first cup of tea (necessary for my sanity!) and that is it. It’s measured, educational, and I’m wholly comfortable with that. I think setting limits are appropriate and it’s up to you to find the balance as a parent.