We all want our children to grow up with the ability to persevere at a task, to work through difficulties, to have confidence they can succeed with their goals. Following Montessori principles at home can definitely help.
Here are some ways you can help your child develop perseverance by using Montessori principles:
Following an Interest and Reaching Success with the Trinomial Cube (Photo from Discovery Days and Montessori Moments)
1. Follow your child’s interests.
This principle almost seems too simple and obvious, but it definitely is much easier for your child to stick with a task he or she finds interesting. The concentration your child gains and pride your child feels from completing work often encourages your child to undertake new goals and reach new heights in the future. Interestingly, self-chosen work often has finished results much more impressive than a teacher or parent would assign.
This works at any age and for any situation! For my daughter’s BA in Performance and Professional Practice from Sheffield Hallam University in England, she chose to do a dissertation related to her interest and career in figure skating. She came up with A Study to Investigate if There is a Need for Acting Lessons for Competitive Figure Skaters. She used questionnaires, interviews, and a focus-group discussion as research methods. Because she was interested in the topic, she didn’t do 25 or some other minimum number of questionnaires – she approached enough people to have 457 questionnaires in the end. Of course, she was a Montessori child and had already learned perseverance!
Pouring Water (Photo from Barefoot in Suburbia)
2. Have lots of practical life activities and opportunities available for your toddler and/or preschooler. Practical life activities are an essential part of Montessori education. I can’t stress enough the importance of them for developing order, concentration, coordination, and independence. For basic information: Montessori Practical Life Activities. For lots of ideas that you can easily use at home: Activities – Practical Life.
Using a Mortar and Pestle after Demonstration (Photo from How We Montessori)
3. Demonstrate how to do an activity, showing the entire work cycle from taking a material off the shelf to cleaning up at the end and returning the material to the shelf.
It’s important that your child knows the steps involved and learns to complete an activity for the development of perseverance.
Working to Complete an Activity (Photo from Julie at Nurturing Learning)
4. Allow your child to choose work, repeat an activity as many times as he or she chooses, and complete a cycle of activity uninterrupted.
Sensitive periods are an important part of Montessori philosophy and should be encouraged. They allow your child to work for long periods of time and repeat activities many times while compelled to meet the needs of a particular sensitive period. When referring to sensitive periods, Maria Montessori said:
“The child makes a number of acquisitions during the sensitive periods, which place him in relation to the outer world in an exceptionally intense manner. Then all is easy; all is eagerness and life, every effort is an increase of power. But when some of these psychic passions die away, other flames are kindled and so infancy passes from conquest to conquest, in a continuous vital vibrancy, which we have called its joy and simplicity. It is through this lovely flame that burns without consuming that the work of creating the mental world of man takes place.”
Working with Four Cylinder Blocks at Once with Their Built-in Control of Error (Photo from Montessori MOMents – blog is no longer available)
5. Don’t do for your child what your child can do for him- or herself.
In Montessori education, children are helped to help themselves – helped to become independent. In Maria Montessori’s words: “These words reveal the child’s inner needs: ‘Help me to do it alone.’”
Many Montessori materials have a built-in control of error so a child can instantly see if a mistake is made. If uninterrupted, the child will typically work with material (learning persistence) until he or she reaches success. If your child doesn’t specifically ask for help, even if your child appears to have some difficulty with a task, it’s generally best to let your child figure it out alone.
Helping your child develop perseverance can either be one of the simplest or one of the most difficult tasks. Following Montessori principles can let it be one of your simplest tasks.
Growth Mindset Resources and Activities
- Free Resilience Printables and Montessori-Inspired Resilience Activities {Growth Mindset Unit}
- Help Your Child Develop Perseverance By Using Montessori Principles
- Modeling Perseverance for Toddlers
- Free Determination Songs and Rhymes (If you like to study character traits, many use “determination” as the character trait for perseverance. Determination is also one of the core Paralympic values. I also have posts from here and BitsofPositivity.com in character-based (virtues) unit studies.)
- Free Growth Mindset Songs for Kids {Character Education Resources}
- Best Growth Mindset Quotes for Kids and Adults
- Don’t Give Up {Growth Mindset Inspiration from Famous Failures}
- The Ultimate List of Free Growth Mindset Printables for Kids and Adults
- Free Brain and Growth Mindset Printables and Montessori-Inspired Brain Activities
- The Best Growth Mindset Books for Kids
- What Is Growth Mindset? (And Why We All Need It)
- Beautiful Growth Mindset Resources from Big Life Journal
- Growth Mindset Resources Pinterest Board
Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy!
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Helping a child gain independence definitely does take longer at first. Those are definitely big ones for me!
So cool! Sometimes I feel guilty for not doing more for my child, especially if he’s struggling a bit, but the precept you quoted of “Help me do it alone” feels very right to me.
Also, I love hearing how your kids took these lessons and ran with them! 🙂
I was intrigued by this post. Particularly like “Don’t do for your child what your child can do for him- or herself.” That builds real independence, confidence, and self-esteem, as well as persistence.
Thanks for your comment! Montessori and karate often help develop many of the same character traits. 🙂
These are important principles. Great post. I am really trying to focus on this one: “Don’t do for your child what your child can do for him- or herself.”
Thanks, Kristy! That’s an awesome principle to focus on! 🙂
Awesome article! I often make mistake in doing things instead of my daughter. I know… 🙂 Now with a new baby on the way, I have a summer to get her to be more self reliant. I need that! 😉
Thanks so much, Michelle! That’s an easy mistake to make. But it’s also amazing how quickly kids can become independent. Wishing you the best with your summer project – and congratulations on your pregnancy! 🙂
Brilliant, love the point about real life activities and opportunities. Montessori principles are just so practical.
Thanks for your kind words, Monique! I love that Maria Montessori developed Montessori education by observing children – helped it be practical and never get outdated!
“Help me to do it alone.”
Those six words should be embroidered on every parent and every teacher’s heart. There is an entire encyclopedia of insight in that little quote.
It does indeed ‘take longer’ for the parent to allow the child the opportunity of putting on their own socks, drinking from a glass and all of the other little nuances of day-to-day living…… and that is exactly where the child learns and grows, gains independence and a sense of proficiency for the day at hand.
Well written. THANKS!!
Popping in from WeTeach
Thanks so much, Debbie! Helping a child gain independence definitely does take longer at first. It’s nice when parents realize that it saves time in the long run (and adds so much to the child’s competence and self-esteem)!
Thank you! I always love your advice!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Charise!
Thank you so much, Deb.
Yes, the principles may seem so simple…but parents (and teachers) often bypass them. For example, doing for the child what he or she can do for themselves. Also, not allowing children to “finish” the entire process of whatever they are working on. I agree that this is so very important for their development. So many times, parents or teachers are in a hurry…something else to do or somewhere to go…and they don’t allow their children to complete the task. This teaches a child so many negative things…among them that perhaps their work is not important or of value. Great article, Deb!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Vivian! It is easy to end up rushing or interrupting the child’s process if we aren’t aware of the importance of allowing the child to complete the activity. I’m always grateful that I was trained in Montessori education before I raised my kids! 🙂
You were fortunate, Deb. As part of my undergraduate early childhood ed training in NYC, I was involved one semester at a Montessori school…but didn’t really understand the principles of it at the time and opted for the “mainstream” teaaching experience as a kindergarten and Head Start teacher. However, looking back, it’s one of the few things I regret because there is so much merit in the Montessori way of “doing” and “learning”.
Very good tips. Education is more than just ABCs and 123s. You’re right about “following your child’s interest”. Recently my son got interested in birds. Without any pushing from me, he diligently took pictures of birds, created a bird scrapbook and learned the different names of the birds. So much passion and enthusiasm. All I had to do was provide materials and resources.
Thanks, Lian! I love hearing about your son’s interest in birds! Passion and enthusiasm are so important, aren’t they?! 🙂
Wonderful post! The “follow your child’s interests” and “do not do for them which they can do” are big keys! Thanks!
This post is an incredible resource for parents, Montessorians and any teacher. My favorite suggestion is #3 – Demonstrate how to do an activity from beginning to finish. I came into Montessori after 4 years in traditional classrooms and this one suggestion has changed my whole outlook on teaching young children!
Thanks for the amazing article!
Thanks so much for your comment, Fernando! I love how the complete cycle of activity is demonstrated in Montessori education. It’s amazing how much children can actually do when they’re just given a demonstration first! 🙂
Thanks so much, Jeanne! Those are definitely big ones for me! 🙂
Thank you, Deb. Amazing article!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Jessie! 🙂