Will (13), Deb, Christina (8), and Terry on Mother’s Day, 1998.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know I like to apply Montessori principles to as many aspects of my life as I can. That includes being a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
I was never one to beat anyone over the head with my beliefs. Using the analogy of a Montessori teacher’s role is probably a good way for me to describe my advocacy style. Of course, even though Montessorians have the greatest respect for their students, I don’t see other parents as children or students. This isn’t in any way a condescending approach to advocacy. But the Montessori teacher’s role is one that shows respect for everyone and has techniques for helping others in a compassionate and effective manner.
Here are my top 4 ways to be a natural parenting compassionate advocate by using Montessori principles:
1. Prepare myself.
The training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than the learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit. – Maria Montessori
Our family now with kids and kids-in-law – Terry, Deb, Chrissy, Tom, Will, and Chea at Veg ‘N Out in San Diego.
In anything, I think my most effective role is as a role model. I was lucky that I was interested in and worked to follow natural parenting principles from the time of my first pregnancy in 1984. I’m lucky that my children are grown-up examples that natural parenting principles – including breastfeeding, baby wearing, healthy living, attachment parenting, gentle discipline, and natural learning (which for my family included Montessori principles and homeschooling) – do work.
2. Prepare an attractive, orderly environment.
In the motif of natural parenting advocacy, my environment right now is my blog. I work to be consistent and encouraging in my posts. I hope that others will find some beauty in what I have to offer.
3. Demonstrate ideas.
In Montessori education, the teacher demonstrates materials and ways of interacting. The Montessori teacher offers to work with students and give demonstrations but doesn’t force demonstrations upon anyone. In the same way, my blog posts, Facebook page, and Living Montessori Now Community are always available, giving ideas I’ve used and links to ideas I’ve discovered.
4. Allow freedom of choice.
And so we discovered that education is not something which the teacher does, but that it is a natural process which develops spontaneously in the human being. – Maria Montessori
I’ve been amazed to hear how my posts have affected people’s lives. I realize that it’s not because my knowledge is so great or I’m so perfect. It’s because the individuals were ready to make a change, and I just happened to say the right thing at the right time.
Let us leave the life free to develop within the limits of the good, and let us observe this inner life developing. This is the whole of our mission. – Maria Montessori
Even though I’m a real believer in peace, love, and tolerance, there are times when I do need to say something. If individuals are dangerous to themselves and their children, then my role is to gently intervene. Otherwise, my role is to have faith that people will have an inner urging toward self-development and want to be the best parents they can be. Their exact parenting path is their choice and is usually the right one for their family.
Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy!
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Gosh this is wonderful. I can see that these 4 principles can almost be ‘principles for living’. The idea of preparing yourself and bring in order and rhythm is what I feel we are lacking in many of today’s circumstances. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post!
Thanks so much for your kind comment! In today’s busy world, it is easy to forget to focus on ourselves. I always appreciated Montessori’s emphasis on that!
I love this! I must say I’ve been very curious about the Montessouri principles as my daughter gets a bit older. If these are some of the examples I have to follow, I must say I’m right there in line!
Thank you for introducing me to the Montessouri way of thinking. . . I’m sure I can apply this anywhere.
Thanks, April! I truly believe Montessori principles can be applied just about everywhere!
Deb you are an incredible role model – your posts are always so informative, organized, and straight-forward. I truly appreciate the time and effort you put into this space. Thank you!
What a sweet thing to say, Dionna! Thanks so much – and thanks for the amazing work you do for natural parenting!
I love this list, Deb. I definitely find your blog inspirational. I appreciate your commitment to implementing Montessori principles in your life, and it’s great to be able to see the results of your natural parenting efforts!
Thanks, Amy! I’m so happy you find my blog helpful! And thanks to you and your husband for all your work with the Carnival of Natural Parenting script!
I really like this, Deb! I’m enjoying learning about Montessori from you!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Charise!
Beautiful Deb! Oh, you made me cry. I just LOVE your blog and all of the important work you do. Thank you so much for being you.
Jennifer
Awww, that’s so sweet, Jennifer! Thanks so much! I love the important work you do, too!
I love seeing adults who grew up in attachment/natural households…your family seems so happy and lovely. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences!
Thanks, Mary! I’ve had so much fun sharing my experiences! It’s been great to look back and think … how cool – it really worked!
I love how you put into words what I try to implement in my home with my boys every day. I never thought about it as Natural Parenting, but it makes sense.
Thanks, Lori! I really think so much of what Maria Montessori said fits perfectly with natural parenting – so it makes sense that that you’re using natural parenting principles at home!
Seeing so much response show the value of your work. Keep it up. It make a sense to me too.
Thank you so much for your kind comment!
Great article, thank you, you have given me a lot to think about. I like that your notion of tolerance still involves active involvement where necessary – all too often it seems a by-word for ‘couldn’t care less what others do’ but also that you recognize parents’ wishes to do the best by their children and to find their own paths.
Thanks so much for your comment, Mandy! I think it’s such a fine balance but hopefully we can find it if we’re sincere about wanting what’s best for others.
Visiting from Mom Loop, and I really enjoyed this post. I needed to read the first quote, especially.
Our girls are enrolled in a Montessori school and we apply many of the same ideals at home, but as they’ve gotten older I have drifted somewhat apart from my original goal of being “attached” and “in tune” with my children. It’s a work in progress as they age and press boundaries and assert more personality!
Thanks for helping me remember it’s my job to prepare my character and spirit first, so that I may reach out to them more effectively.
Thanks, Anna! I found it an amazing experience to watch my children grow and change. I always appreciated Montessori principles and ideals because they can be applied at any age. It’s so true that it’s challenging to be in tune with our children’s ever-changing needs. But such a rewarding challenge! 🙂
I love reading about your insights that connect Montessori and NP.
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Isil
This is a great post for CarNatPar. It’s funny because yours was one of my most anticipated posts for this carnival and it’s actually the last I’m reading. I’ve been commenting on everyone’s as mindfully as I can, so it takes me awhile. I’m happy that this is the final word on compassionate advocacy because it is a fitting post for me to take away-kind of the keystone, if you will.
One of the reasons I think I’m so attracted to Montessori for homeschooling is that it approaches people holisticly. From the inside out, it seeks to deepen the individual’s connection to the innermost self and from there to the world and then infinite reflections (and refractions?) between. I use the word person because it includes everyone in a child’s life. It is a mindful, peaceful way of coexisting with others in the world and really, is there any other way to actually create connection and change that’s meaningful and lasting?
Thanks so much for your very kind and thoughtful comment, Zoie! Great way to describe the Montessori approach to connecting with self and others! 🙂