Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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If you’ve been following my blog, you know I like to apply Montessori principles to as many aspects of my life as I can. That includes being a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
I was never one to beat anyone over the head with my beliefs. Using the analogy of a Montessori teacher’s role is probably a good way for me to describe my advocacy style. Of course, even though Montessorians have the greatest respect for their students, I don’t see other parents as children or students. This isn’t in any way a condescending approach to advocacy. But the Montessori teacher’s role is one that shows respect for everyone and has techniques for helping others in a compassionate and effective manner.
Here are my top 4 ways to be a natural parenting compassionate advocate by using Montessori principles:
1. Prepare myself.
The training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than the learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit. – Maria Montessori

Our family now with kids and kids-in-law - Terry, Deb, Chrissy, Tom, Will, and Chea at Veg 'N Out in San Diego.
In anything, I think my most effective role is as a role model. I was lucky that I was interested in and worked to follow natural parenting principles from the time of my first pregnancy in 1984. I’m lucky that my children are grown-up examples that natural parenting principles – including breastfeeding, baby wearing, healthy living, attachment parenting, gentle discipline, and natural learning (which for my family included Montessori principles and homeschooling) – do work.
2. Prepare an attractive, orderly environment.
In the motif of natural parenting advocacy, my environment right now is my blog. I work to be consistent and encouraging in my posts. I hope that others will find some beauty in what I have to offer.
3. Demonstrate ideas.
In Montessori education, the teacher demonstrates materials and ways of interacting. The Montessori teacher offers to work with students and give demonstrations but doesn’t force demonstrations upon anyone. In the same way, my blog posts, Facebook page, and Living Montessori Now Community are always available, giving ideas I’ve used and links to ideas I’ve discovered.
4. Allow freedom of choice.
And so we discovered that education is not something which the teacher does, but that it is a natural process which develops spontaneously in the human being. – Maria Montessori
I’ve been amazed to hear how my posts have affected people’s lives. I realize that it’s not because my knowledge is so great or I’m so perfect. It’s because the individuals were ready to make a change, and I just happened to say the right thing at the right time.
Let us leave the life free to develop within the limits of the good, and let us observe this inner life developing. This is the whole of our mission. – Maria Montessori
Even though I’m a real believer in peace, love, and tolerance, there are times when I do need to say something. If individuals are dangerous to themselves and their children, then my role is to gently intervene. Otherwise, my role is to have faith that people will have an inner urging toward self-development and want to be the best parents they can be. Their exact parenting path is their choice and is usually the right one for their family.
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
- You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
- From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
- I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
- Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
- Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don’t share your views.
- Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
- Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
- Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
- A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don’t parent the way you do.
- Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
- Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
- Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
- Compassionate Advocacy . . . That’s The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she’s learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the “good news” of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
- Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
- I Am the Change — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
- Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
- I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
- Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
- Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people’s children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter’s senior kindergarten room.
- Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the “great divide” through gently teaching and being teachable.
- Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
- The Three R’s of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how “The Three R’s” can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
- Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
- Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
- What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
- Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
- Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
- Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she’s been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
- Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
- Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
- Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
- Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she’s doing — and it’s a gift.
- Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
- At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
- Putting a public face on “holistic” — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
- Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
- One Parent at a Time… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
- Self-compassion — We’re great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
- Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
- Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by “just doing her thing,” she may be advocating for natural parenting.
- Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
- Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
- The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
- Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
- Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
- A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
- Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
- Why I’m not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
- Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
- Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
- A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
- don’t tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.
Gosh this is wonderful. I can see that these 4 principles can almost be ‘principles for living’. The idea of preparing yourself and bring in order and rhythm is what I feel we are lacking in many of today’s circumstances. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post!
Thanks so much for your kind comment! In today’s busy world, it is easy to forget to focus on ourselves. I always appreciated Montessori’s emphasis on that!
I love this! I must say I’ve been very curious about the Montessouri principles as my daughter gets a bit older. If these are some of the examples I have to follow, I must say I’m right there in line!
Thank you for introducing me to the Montessouri way of thinking. . . I’m sure I can apply this anywhere.
Thanks, April! I truly believe Montessori principles can be applied just about everywhere!
Deb you are an incredible role model – your posts are always so informative, organized, and straight-forward. I truly appreciate the time and effort you put into this space. Thank you!
What a sweet thing to say, Dionna! Thanks so much – and thanks for the amazing work you do for natural parenting!
I love this list, Deb. I definitely find your blog inspirational. I appreciate your commitment to implementing Montessori principles in your life, and it’s great to be able to see the results of your natural parenting efforts!
Thanks, Amy! I’m so happy you find my blog helpful! And thanks to you and your husband for all your work with the Carnival of Natural Parenting script!
I really like this, Deb! I’m enjoying learning about Montessori from you!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Charise!
Beautiful Deb! Oh, you made me cry. I just LOVE your blog and all of the important work you do. Thank you so much for being you.
Jennifer
Awww, that’s so sweet, Jennifer! Thanks so much! I love the important work you do, too!
I love seeing adults who grew up in attachment/natural households…your family seems so happy and lovely. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences!
Thanks, Mary! I’ve had so much fun sharing my experiences! It’s been great to look back and think … how cool – it really worked!
I love how you put into words what I try to implement in my home with my boys every day. I never thought about it as Natural Parenting, but it makes sense.
Thanks, Lori! I really think so much of what Maria Montessori said fits perfectly with natural parenting – so it makes sense that that you’re using natural parenting principles at home!
Seeing so much response show the value of your work. Keep it up. It make a sense to me too.
Thank you so much for your kind comment!
Great article, thank you, you have given me a lot to think about. I like that your notion of tolerance still involves active involvement where necessary – all too often it seems a by-word for ‘couldn’t care less what others do’ but also that you recognize parents’ wishes to do the best by their children and to find their own paths.
Thanks so much for your comment, Mandy! I think it’s such a fine balance but hopefully we can find it if we’re sincere about wanting what’s best for others.
Visiting from Mom Loop, and I really enjoyed this post. I needed to read the first quote, especially.
Our girls are enrolled in a Montessori school and we apply many of the same ideals at home, but as they’ve gotten older I have drifted somewhat apart from my original goal of being “attached” and “in tune” with my children. It’s a work in progress as they age and press boundaries and assert more personality!
Thanks for helping me remember it’s my job to prepare my character and spirit first, so that I may reach out to them more effectively.
Thanks, Anna! I found it an amazing experience to watch my children grow and change. I always appreciated Montessori principles and ideals because they can be applied at any age. It’s so true that it’s challenging to be in tune with our children’s ever-changing needs. But such a rewarding challenge! 🙂
I love reading about your insights that connect Montessori and NP.
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Isil
This is a great post for CarNatPar. It’s funny because yours was one of my most anticipated posts for this carnival and it’s actually the last I’m reading. I’ve been commenting on everyone’s as mindfully as I can, so it takes me awhile. I’m happy that this is the final word on compassionate advocacy because it is a fitting post for me to take away-kind of the keystone, if you will.
One of the reasons I think I’m so attracted to Montessori for homeschooling is that it approaches people holisticly. From the inside out, it seeks to deepen the individual’s connection to the innermost self and from there to the world and then infinite reflections (and refractions?) between. I use the word person because it includes everyone in a child’s life. It is a mindful, peaceful way of coexisting with others in the world and really, is there any other way to actually create connection and change that’s meaningful and lasting?
Thanks so much for your very kind and thoughtful comment, Zoie! Great way to describe the Montessori approach to connecting with self and others! 🙂